World Tree MUSH

    Sigh.
    Well. After the events involving the sun god Helio bringing his army to bear, things didn't... Quite calm down. But the town did invite Castiel and the others to stay at the inn free of charge for their actions. The rooms aren't very glamourous nor grand, but they are cozy and get the job done for a night of rest.
    So right about now Castiel is returning from a few errands around the town, turning the key in the door to let herself in with the kind of sigh that says she has words for the room's occupants.

Itana has not been especially talkative. If you thought she was hard on herself before, imagine what comes after she gets chastised for what she thought was the right thing, then ends up crying in public.

Arriving will find Itana sitting in a chair with one arm draped on the windowsill, face turned out over the town with a look that makes clear enough that she's lost in thought. If nothing else, her arm seems to have taken a turn for the significantly better. Angel action was probably involved. So were some of her own potions.

Okay, a lot of her own potions. Itana is not used to getting lasered by gods.

The click of the door registers, but the abyss of her thoughts is too deep to truly let her free - a steady and constant churn of self-reproof and frustration, driving her further and further into a pit of mental darkness.

    For her part, Illumiel has been silent since the scolding from Hyouka. A stoney expression on her face. She's not even maintaining her array of weapons... they're piled haphazard in one corner. She's refused to be treated until Itana's been taken care of, so she's still a bit cooked looking... though divine fortitude has allowed for some regeneration to occur. She's say on the floor, in the farthest spot from the door and Itana as she can manage, eyes closed as she leans against the wall.

    And the door opens... And Castiel sees Itana, once again lost in thought and Illumiel on the floor. 
    "I..." She starts to speak and then quietly huffs, a defeated look working its way onto her face. Scolding the two now wouldn't have any effect, value or worth. Not when it's clear they've probably been beating the tar out of themselves ever since Hyouka finished with them.
    "Sister, at least sit in a chair. Or come here." She says delicately to Illumiel while setting down a few supplies she had purchased while out. Only to sidle herself beside Itana, arms wrapping loosely around the nomad in a gentle embrace from the side.

Sometimes there are walls that not even scolding can break through. Some of them may include Itana feeling like absolute shit about herself.

She almost doesn't hear Castiel at first - until the tiny angel settles in beside her, and those arms twine around her. The archer closes her eyes and lowers her head, jolted out of her thoughts by that tangible feeling. A slow breath pours out her her as she looks over, instinctively bringing one arm up and around Castiel.

"I'm a fool, aren't I," she murmurs, though her eyes are searching for the other angel - the one retreating in the farthest corner. Illumiel still doesn't look good. Then again, Itana's seen better days too.

"...Illumiel...."

    The Avenger doesn't even react at first. Not until Itana says her name. One eye opens, its white bloodshot. She shakes her head, and speaks for the first time. "You felt it too, Sister. The malice radiating off of that false idol like rot on meat left out too long. You know I cannot allow such to stand before me." she says in a voice cracked as the ground after the solar bombardment.

    "I could feel it. Yes." Castiel confirms for Illumiel's sake while she holds onto Itana in the moment, eyes scrunching shut tightly. There's a tension in the Guardian Angel unlike the norm, fingers curling to tightly grip at Itana's clothes.
    "But that does not change the fact that the both of you acted without thought for the consequences yesterday." She says, voice muffled into Itana's shoulder. "I understnad *why* the both of you did what you did, but..."
    She huffs, voice trembling for a beat.
    "I cannot stand the thought to lose either of you."

Itana presses her lips together. Her arm loosens slightly, as though the guilt of it all has made hugging Castiel feel like a nice thing she doesn't deserve to indulge in anymore. Quiet eyes meet Illumiel for a moment; the determination in her words is clear enough, the pain even clearer. With a bite of her lip, she looks away again, down at the top of Castiel's head.

"...I don't want to be lost by you," she admits, voice smaller. A layer of guard comes down. The hurt behind it hangs from her words like a subtle but evident decorative fringe.

"I've never truly... had to think that far ahead," Itana admits, closing her eyes again as her shoulders sag. "Not when it felt so personal. All I could think of was... what it was like watching the Red Wings destroy Damcyan, and my family. Thinking that I should have been there... but I wasn't. And I am still a fool."

    Illumiel falls silent again, eye closing and her head drooping to rest against her raised knee.

    "If it is His will that my life is spent fighting evil such as the false idol. That is my burden to bear. I am an Avenger, Sister. His Wrath Made Manifest... it is my duty, my purpose, to shine brightly. Burn brilliantly... then extinguish quietly, so that his Love may fill the void left behind." she says solemnly.

    She lifts her head, looking at Itana, then Castiel, both eyes open, her left bloodshot, her right... unseeing, the pupil milky with the damage she took. "It is not by my hand that I will leave you eventually, Sister. You know this... His plan must always come first."

    Castiel is, in this moment, placed in a predicament.
    It is a rare, perilous situation that the normally calm and placid angel hardly ever finds herself in; torn between consoling her friend and her sister or...
    Or...
    A shuddery, shivering breath is Castiel's initial response. There's a tension in her body unlike Itana may have ever felt before when in such proximity to the little angel as...
    "Enough...! Both of you!"
    It is unlike Castiel to ever snap like that. But that is what just happened as she looks up, prizing her face from Itana's back and shoulder, eyes brimming with tears. "You think yourself a fool and you think yourself doomed from the moment you were born and I... I..." She trails off, fingers curling tightly into impotent fists. Slowly she detaches from Itana if only to approach Illumiel, one hand resting gently over the other angel's face and cheek, fingers so gentle and warm as she funnels her healing touch into her sister. "Do you both forget what I am? Do you know how much I fret, and worry, and have to hide it? To not let you see the fear secretly hidden in my heart whenever either of you place yourselves at risk? If I can't protect my sister or my ward then I have failed in my duty, failed in my resolve, and failed at everything." She ultimately whispers.
    "If I were to lose either of you or both of you, I would lose my way, forever."

>> GAME >> Castiel spends an Edge for: Empowered healing touch on Illumiel.

>> SUMMARY[Castiel] >> Also yes I did just adopt Itana.

Itana actually sits up when Castiel lets loose so sharply. It's the last thing she's come to expect from her tiny angel companion.

Or is companion the right word? There's an uncharacteristic vulnerability in her eyes as she looks from one angel to the other, from the wounded of body to the wounded of heart. She curls a finger into her collar for a moment, mouth open just a little, yet no words emerge - she cannot find them immediately. Not within the bright light of Castiel's passions.

'My ward.' Itana's throat swells a little. She swallows the hard lump of emotion in it, but there's no disguising the way her eyes mist up.

"I'm... sorry," she says finally, and though halting, there's something genuine about it.

Moving from her seat, Itana settles into a space between the two angels, laying one hand on Castiel's head and bringing the other around near Illumiel if she wishes to take it. "Both of you... I wonder so often what it is that... that you see worthy in me to care about. Maybe it is enough to know that you do. I know it is. I do not want you to lose your way, or to hurt. Neither to see you lost..." She leans towards Castiel a little before touching Illumiel's shoulder. "...nor you be extinguished.

"You both... have made me feel like my life is worth living again. And I'm most sorry for being callous about it... about how you feel."

    Illumiel's eyes close again, as her sisters healing washes over her. She heaves a shuddering breath, as the pain leaves her, and the lingering scorch marks turn back to pristine skin... she opens her eyes again, and the shimmering pools look up into Castiel's. She can't speak... not in the face of her twin's heartbreak.

    She takes a breath, then reaches up, taking Itana's hand, and then Castiel's in her own. Her response, is a firm squeeze. Words failing her.

    Castiel is silent for a long moment. Even as Itana approaches, rests that hand upon her. The Guardian Angel simply trembles in silence, as delicate and fragile as a leaf on the wind as she struggles to rally after loosing her always so carefully restrained emotions.
    It is in the face of Itana's apology and Illumiel's taciturn comfort that Castiel slowly manages to calm herself, Itana's and Illumiel's hands clasped in her own.
    "I would hope that is how you feel Itana." She says softly. "It is what we were made for." She says gently, slowly unfurling her pristine white wings and wrapping one around the nomad and the other around her twin to draw the two in close to her and remain that way for a time.