World Tree MUSH

    It's not long since the incident at the Silvyr Tower. Shirou Emiya hasn't even quite made it out of that particular world yet, either. It's not really that short of a trip to the Vine, you know?

    So instead, the red-haired would-be-magus has settled to stay the night at an inn in a little village halfway to the travelling hub. Rather than retiring to sleep right at the room he rented for his stay, he is settled now in the downstairs tavern, with a faintly-steaming cup of tea in front of him... but mostly forgotten, in favor of focusing his attention on the maps spread out over both a couple sheets of paper and the screen of his phone. Diagrams of Blossomed worlds connected to the Tree and related materials, maybe? The boy's deep in thought over trying to make sense of it all now, at least, and not paying much attention to the surrounding tavern.

    The sword Anna gave him is openly at his side, too. Worlds like this are places where he doesn't consider hiding it a necessity, so it's just much more comfortable and convenient to do this than keep it hidden in a messenger bag all the time.

    The thing about inns if that they're often frequented not just by travellers but by adventurers. This is why Shirou openly wearing the silver sword doesn't get so much as a blink. Nor do people blink when the young princess with the axe slung over her shoulder enters the inn, and on spotting the red-haired youth, makes a beeline for Shirou and his table.
    "Shirou--..." She says to get his attention before realizing he might be in the middle of something important. This pauses Anna, resulting in a sheepish shuffle of her feet as she clears her throat. "Were you busy? May I join you?"

    "Huh?" Anna's voice does, indeed, catch Shirou a bit off guard, and his eyes turn up with a half-a-second's delay to take in the young runaway princess. And that earlier look of concentration immediately vanishes to leave the youth taking on a bit more of a sheepish expression. "O-oh, no, sorry, lemme just..." And promptly, he's leaning over the table, trying to shuffle the spread papers about. "Clear some room..."

    After at least some of the documents have been stacked into a neat pile, to clear room for whatever Anna might want to set on the table herself, he sits back down, and lets out a faint sound of laughter. "Sorry, I was a little caught up. Uh... Are you... doing okay? Do you want me to order you some tea, too?"

    Anna waits patiently while Shirou makes room with all the maps and charts, before she settles in, wearing a slightly apologetic smile as she does.
    "Oh, no, I already have." She admits, setting down a steaming mug on a free space on the table, smile spreading into a thin grin.
    "I'm surprised I managed to catch you." She admits. "I was so busy dealing with the Watchful Order, I thought you would be gone by the time I had managed to convince them that staff was really the one they had been looking for." The girl says, resting her hands on her lap.
    All in all, she's certainly less... Dour and gloomy than she had been since her tribe was murdered right before her eyes.
    Actually, she seems pretty happy to see the youth.

    "Yeah, well, the sun here was already setting, so I didn't feel like making the trek the rest of the way during the night, you know? ... I mean, I dunno if it's going to be night on the other side of the Vine, but..." Shirou frowns at this, and rubs his hand against the side of his head. "...Ugh, this stuff is so complicated to think about still. Still."

    The charts forgotten about for now, he finally clutches his own mugful of tea in both hands. At least it had enough time to cool down, then. "That staff was... something alright. You didn't ask if you could keep it? That little chibi-dragon seemed to like you. Come to think of it..." Shirou's lips turn into a faint smile of his own while he considers Anna, and nods with some internal conclusion. "You seem to be doing well. You're smiling more than when we first met. Keeping busy is doing good for you, I'm guessing?"

    Oh, Shirou, you poor, dense boy.

    It makes sense to travel by dy, and Anna's head dips in a slow nod at the explanation for Shirou's logic.
    "Ah, yes, that's a very good point." She concedes. While it can be day in one world, who knows what time it'll be once one gets through the nearest vine? Nevertheless, there's a slight fidget with her fingers at the hem of her skirt.
    "Ah-- no... I do not think I am much suited to having, nor really need a Familiar." She admits. "Though Drake was quite adorable." She does admit.
    But then she clears her throat.
    "A-ah?" Is she smiling more? She seems to not have noticed.
    "O-oh! Well. I have... Come to quite enjoy the freedom from the castle..." She murmurs thoughtfully. Keeping busy HAS been good for her but she shifts a little slightly in her seat as though there's more to it.

    "That makes me glad, you know," Shirou tells her then, closing his eyes briefly with that little smile of his. "To see you doing so well. I was worried about you for a bit, you know? I mean, I know how--" He trails off with that, and his smile recedes a bit... actually, no, it doesn't change that much at all. Were... all his smiles always like that? It's not that they're fake or insincere, no. They even have held some comforting warmth to them occasionally. But maybe Anna might realize, sooner or later, that there's something... off. Like something missing.

    But what?

    "Well, anyway... Hm?" His head tips sideways, looking with a bit more confusion at the girl, before some concern slips in. "Are... you okay?" Oh, he noticed the little shifting on her part. "You didn't get hurt back at that fight, did you...?" Aaaand he promptly draws the wrong conclusion.

    Shirou's smiles are comforting but...
    There is a but.
    But we'll get to that in a moment as Anna slowly shakes her head.
    "I'm fine." Is her reply. She didn't get hurt. "It was just a few ash zombies. They were too slow to really hurt me." She says, rubbing her hands together slowly. "I was right as rain after a hot bath to get all the soot out of everything."
    They were pretty dusty.
    But this is where Anna is frowning. Her lips purse as she draws in a slow breath and holds it for a beat before...
    "There was something the Nothic said that particularly bothered me, Shirou..."

    "Ugh, no kidding. I just feel lucky I didnt get any of it in my mouth..."

    Shirou grunts at that particular memory. ANd while the two of them are silent for but a brief moment, he takes a few seconds to peek at one of the papers piled near him...

    Before she speaks up again.

    "Huh?" Shirou does look genuinely confused now, and lifts his amber eyes up to blink at the princess. "What did-- oh, you mean all those secrets he spoke about everyone? It's okay, I thought it was best I shouldn't say any-" A brief beat of a pause in his words, and the redhead frowns faintly. "...You mean what he said about me?"

    Hah hahhh, getting ash zombie dust in the mouth would just be... Just be kind of nasty. Anna grimaces at the thought, before her attention comes back to the moment at hand.
    "Ah... Yes." She admits. This is about what the nothic said about Shirou.
    "That you... Watched a place called Fuyuki burn?" She says, head dipping in a slow nod.

    Shirou frowns... rather deeply at this, and his eyes draw away from Anna, for now. He's silent for a few painfully long seconds, before he lets out a steadying breath.

    "Fuyuki is my home," he says, finally, still without quite looking back to Anna. "...Ten years ago, on one summer night, there was a big fire. No one really knew how it started, how it spread so fast... but it burnt down most of New Town. Including most of the people living there. As far as I know, only a handful survived."

    Another slow breath taken in, and then released.

    "...At the time, I... I lived in New Town."

    Shirou looks away.
    That's not a good start to this conversation.
    But Anna's attention remains locked on the youth when he begins to speak without looking at her.
    And she remains silent for a long, long, moment as he details exactly what happened. Fuyuki. His home. How fast the fire spread, how many lives were lost.
    "..."
    She's silent a long, long, moment still, jade eyes slowly widening with shock at the revelation.
    "Shirou, that..." She says, voice barely a whisper. Her own rage seems so miniscule and petty by comparisonn, and it makes her feel shamed as she dips her chin to her chest in silence.

    "Yeah, I know," Shirou says, in lieu of letting Anna finish her particular thought, His eyes close for a moment -- as if just for a few seconds, he might be right back at that raging hellstorm devouring the city. But it passes, and he turns to give a small, faintly-saddened look to Anna. "Just keep going, right? Even if... I mean..." He stumbles over his words. It's not the same kind of stumbling she's seen before, though, no. No embarrassed blustering over some social faux pa -- right then, Shirou truly looks like he's not even sure how to properly process things. Until he finally lands himself on, "...It wouldn't be right for everyone who didn't make it if I didn't at least try, right?"

    It's like something out of a self-help book for sure. And maybe that hints just a little to how he truly feels.

    Survivor's guilt is a bitch.

    "...Well. Really, I owe my survival from all that to a man named Emiya Kiritsugu," he explains further then, with a brief peek down at his own hand, laid across the table. Emiya Kiritsugu, he says. Emiya. So then-- "He adopted me after I had mostly recovered at the hospital. He trained me in magic... even if I basically had to bully him into doing it. ... It's kind of a twisted thought, but I suppose I wouldnt be the person I am today if it wasn't for that fire."

    Just keep going? That's a hell of a way to look at things, and for a moment Anna seems shocked by such a statement. To keep going on for everyone who didn't make it?
    "Shirou..." She murmurs, brow knotting as she lifts a hand to her mouth.
    "Is that how you really feel?"
    It is... Something she can understand. Being practically the only remnant of her tribe.
    Survivor's guilt IS a bitch, yes.
    And for a moment the girl is halted. Before she finally reaches out, setting a hand atop Shirou's in a gentle contact as she listens on. "I... I see... This Kiritsugu sounds like... Quite the person."

    How he really feels...

    It's funny. Not only did anyone really ask him that before, but he never really even gave it any kind of thought. There's a lot of different things he's thought about that day. He even dreams about it regularly. But he always ends up pushing it aside. So... how *does* he really feel?

    ... What is he *supposed* to feel?

    "I... what else can I do?" He asks of her in counter, bluntly, and his eyes fall downwards again. "...Be as it may, there's... something I've wanted to do. I feel like if I don't, I'll leave all of those people behind. And it'll be for nothing."

    Her hand finds his, and he finally looks up again... and for just a brief moment, when their eyes meet, he smiles again...

    But yet, that smile still seems so... empty.

    "Kiritsugu was... more of a father to me than my birth father had time to be. He didn't want to teach magic to me, really. He said magi - at least the magi in my world - were too insular, too hidden awya with their own devices to help with the rest of the world. I at least like to think he finally relented because he thought I wouldn't end up being like that."

    Shirou sighs, then, and, at the very least, he lets his fingers wrap about Anna's own laid over his, gently squeezing. "...I would at least like to think I can be worthy of all the things he left me one day."

    "You can go on for yourself." Anna suggests. "You aren't obligated to shoulder anything for anyone, living or dead..." Anna notes. "I..."
    She trails off.
    That smile silences her utterly. It's so...
    It's painful to look at.
    In fact, just seeing Shirou smile, in that instant, for just a moment, puts out Anna's constant quiet simmering fury and instantly replaces it all in a wash of sorrow; a sudden and flash flood of pain the likes of which she's never experienced before.
    Her vision blurs. One arm rises to wipe the tears welling in her eyes.
    "Something you've wanted to do... And... What would that be?"

    "For myself...?" Why does Shirou say that like it's some completely alien thing. Hell, it's not like he isn't aware of the concept, himself. It's a perfectly normal thing for people, right?

    But he doesnt have a proper way to process that now, no. Nor does he have a proper response to give to that suggestion from her. So notably? Worryingly? He doesn't.

    He does, however, notice the tears welling up in the princess' eyes just before she draws her arm up to wipe at them, and his smile turns to a concerned expression again. "H-hey, what-- what's wrong, Anna? Um-- Do you want me to go get you something...?" It might sound like a diversion attempt, an effort made to redirect the focus from him away to her, but it really, truly is the boy just shifting gears that quickly to worrying about someone else.

    That prompting question, though. That makes him look away again, but this time? This time it's with some embarrassment. "Ah... You would laugh at me..." He mumbles, with a sheepish scratch made at his cheek with the hand not left to idly holding onto Anna's.

    It takes Anna a second. Just a second. There's a slow shuddery breath as she rallies. IT is not easy, but eventually the rage returns, a slow roar in her ears that makes her fists clench.
    She puts it away, tucking it back into the hidden place behind her heart.
    "No. No, stay." She says, as though if he were to get up now he'd never return.
    There is nothing Shirou could bring Anna in this moment that would ease the pain of seeing that smile. She gulps slowly, one shaking hand reaching for her tea; tepid and lukewarm now, and takes a sip to settle her nerves before she shakes her head.
    "I would never laugh at you... What is it?"

    That pushes away the option of standing up entirely. Okay, so staying is more important than getting more drink or food for Anna. So Shirou's hand tightens on hers again, just briefly.

    "You're... you're sure you're okay...?" He asks now, still somehow not catching on to the fact that he is actually upsetting her. Why would he be, right? In his mind there is nothing wrong with the things he is saying, and how he is presenting himself.

    But she's asking him again of his desire, and he sheepishly looks down, focusing on his hand and hers, held together.

    "I... I want to become a hero of justice."

    It is such a silly, childish concept. But coming from him, even if he is looking down away with some embarrassment? There is still some very real conviction behind it.

    Sevral quick, silent, nods are Anna's initial answer. She is okay. For the most part. Even if it stings to remember that smile, and how vacant it was... Regardless of how recent... Another steadying breath and she stares intently.
    She waits for it.
    Shirou says it.
    Anna doesn't even blink.
    No, instead her other hand joins the first, setting atop Shirou's as she purses her lips.
    "That is... Far more noble a goal than my own, I will say." She admits freely. "But."
    There is a but.
    "That is not something to laugh about either." She says, lips tugging into a wan smile. "It is not so far fetched a wish, you know. I come from a world of knights and paladins and champions, selected by both gods and mortals. And... You have the heart for it, I know you do." The girl considers.
    "Shirou, I think... I think you'd make a fine hero."

    In a world like his own, Shirou is used to hearing that claim of a ridicilous wish, a hopeless ideal, to be met with laughter.

    But she just... accepts it. He thinks he only heard one other person react like that to it before, besides the one who passed that dream on to him. Come to think of it, that person did also come from a place where the idea of a 'hero' wasn't too far fetched of a dream.

    Regardless, Shirou can't help but blush, between her confident declaration, and the feel of both of her hands cradling his own. And he looks again, purely out of some embarrassment, like he's trying to hide the red flush gathering at his cheeks. "Ahaha... I don't know about that, honestly, I'm just... some guy who failed at being a magus, you know?" So quick to laugh it off. Maybe he's the type to not know how to handle a compliment well.

    "...But I do want to try, at least. I can't *not* try."

    That's the thing. Where Anna comes from, there ARE heroes. To her, it's not the folly of some youth's silly dream. Of course she would just accept it.
    But seeing Shirou blush though...
    That brings a warmth to Anna's own cheeks and she takes this moment to retract her hands and clear her throat.
    "I don't think you failed. I remember when you enchanted my axe- at the well in Peacely. A failure certainly could not do that much." She notes before her head dips in a nod.
    "Mn. Well. I will support you as best I can in your endeavors, Shirou."